Eulogy for a daughter

We are sorry. Whatever brought you to this page, we are sorry. There is no version of a eulogy for a daughter that is not heavy. There are tender versions, short ones, and ones that simply name her. Any of them is enough. The broader frame for a eulogy is in our gentle guide on how to write a eulogy.

Permission first

Before you write anything: you are allowed to write three sentences and ask someone else to read them. You are allowed to write a letter to her and ask the celebrant to read it. You are allowed to ask a friend to deliver the eulogy entirely. Nothing on this page is a rule. It is an option.

Two short example openings

Example one, for a young daughter

Eleanor was three years old. She liked yellow. She liked the word elbow. She liked her brother, mostly, except when he took the last waffle. There is no version of the rest of my life without those three facts in it. I will spend a few minutes telling you what it was like to be her mother.

Example two, for an adult daughter

Anna was my first child. She made me a mother. Forty-two years ago I did not know what that word meant. I know now. She taught me, in a thousand small lessons, what it meant. And every one of those lessons is in the room with me now.

What to include about a daughter

• One small ordinary scene with her in it, told plainly
• The thing she loved that you did not understand at first
• Who she was becoming, in her own words if you have them
• The way she loved her siblings, partner, or friends
• One thing you learned from her that you carry now

If she had children of her own

Speak directly to them, by name, even if they are too young to follow it. Lila and Sam, your mom loved you in a way I have never seen a person love anyone. I will tell you stories your whole life. A line addressed to the grandchildren is often the single most-quoted moment of the service.

Resources beyond the eulogy

The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA are national organizations for parents who have lost a child. Their local chapters often hold monthly meetings. Our piece on how to tell the children may be useful if her siblings or children are still little. The practical day-of notes are in how to read a eulogy without crying.

When you are ready, Stillwith helps you draft yours. Slowly. There is no rush.