Eulogy for a son

There is no good eulogy for a son. There are only tender ones, written slowly, in a house that has gone quiet. If you are reading this, we are sorry. Take whatever you can from this page, leave the rest, and write the version that is yours. The broader frame is in our gentle guide on how to write a eulogy.

You do not have to be eloquent

The room is not waiting for a speech. The room is waiting to hold you. A short eulogy for a son, three minutes, two stories, one line about who he was, is more than enough. Anything more is grace, not duty.

Two short example openings

Example one, for a young son

I was supposed to teach him things. He taught me. He taught me that breakfast is the most important meal. He taught me that the right number of stuffed animals on the bed is seven. He taught me how to love something more than I love myself. That last one took me thirty-eight years to learn, and he taught me in five.

Example two, for an adult son

My son was thirty-one years old. I was his mother for every single one of those years. I am still his mother today. That is the only sentence I needed to write. The rest of this is the gift.

What to include about a son

• One moment from his childhood, told briefly
• The thing he loved that no one else in the family did
• Who he was becoming, in his own words if you have them
• The way he loved his siblings, his friends, his children
• One thing you learned from him that you are taking forward

Permission to stop

You are allowed to write two paragraphs and ask someone else to read them. You are allowed to ask a friend to deliver the eulogy entirely. You are allowed to write a letter to your son instead of a speech to the room, and ask the celebrant to read it. There is no rule here that is more important than you getting through the day.

Resources beyond the eulogy

The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA are national organizations specifically for parents who have lost a child. Their local chapters often host monthly meetings. Many families also find it helpful to read our guide on how to tell the children if there are siblings at home. Our practical day-of notes are in how to read a eulogy without crying.

When you are ready, Stillwith helps you draft yours. Slowly. There is no rush.