Eulogy for a wife

A eulogy for your wife is not a list of her accomplishments. It is the room of small details only you knew. The way she held her tea cup with both hands. The lullaby she invented for the second baby. The text she sent every Friday at noon. You are the only person on earth who can tell those stories. Start there. For the wider shape of a eulogy, our gentle starting point is how to write a eulogy.

Lead with one image, not a summary

The first sentence is the hardest sentence. Pick one image that lives in your chest already. Open with it. The audience will follow you anywhere after that. If the first sentence is not landing, browse eulogy opening lines for ten starters in different tones.

Two example openings

Example one, the everyday details

My wife folded the towels into thirds. Not halves. Thirds. She said it was the only way they fit on the shelf. For thirty-two years our linen closet was a small, perfect thing. She did that for us. She did a thousand things like that, for us. I want to spend a few minutes telling you what it was like to be loved by Helen.

Example two, a shorter marriage

We had nine years together. People keep saying it was not enough, and they are right. But the nine years were so full that I do not know how to put them in a speech. So I am going to tell you three small things. Then I will sit down.

What to include about a wife

• The small ritual that was just between the two of you
• The way she mothered, sistered, or befriended others
• Something she said often that the family will hear in their heads
• One scene that captured her, told in a minute or less
• What you learned, simply

Speaking for the kids, too

If you have children, ask them what they want said. Even a single line in their voice, attributed to them, anchors the eulogy in the family rather than just in the marriage. If the kids are little, our piece on how to tell the children may help in the days around the service.

If the marriage was complicated

Most are. A short, honest acknowledgment, we were not a love story out of a movie, we were a love story out of real life, gives the warm parts permission to be real.

Reading the eulogy

Read it out loud at home, twice. Time it. Decide where you will breathe. Our guide on how to read a eulogy without crying has the practical pieces. Carry the page up to the lectern, even if you have memorized it.

When you are ready, Stillwith helps you draft yours.