Should I send flowers or a donation?

Read the obituary. If it says in lieu of flowers, send the donation. A small bouquet in the second week is the gift most families remember.

How much should funeral flowers cost?

Standing sprays run $150 to $400. Casket sprays $250 to $600. A small sympathy bouquet for the home is $50 to $100.

Are there religions where flowers are not appropriate?

Yes. Jewish funerals traditionally do not include flowers; food at the shiva house is the equivalent. Muslim funerals also do not typically use flowers. For Hindu and Buddhist services, white or yellow are preferred.

When should flowers arrive?

For the service, the morning of the visitation. For sympathy bouquets to the home, the second week after the death.

All guides

Funeral flowers and what they mean

A short guide to the meaning of common funeral flowers, plus cultural notes on when flowers are not the right gift to send at all.

Sending flowers is one of the oldest ways to say I am sorry without using the words. The meanings below come from centuries of funeral florist tradition, but the truth is most families do not parse the symbolism. They notice that you sent something. They keep the card. This page covers what each common funeral flower has historically meant, plus the cultural notes that matter so you do not send the wrong gift to the wrong family.

Lily

The most common funeral flower in Western Christian tradition. White lilies, especially the casablanca and stargazer varieties, symbolize restored innocence and the soul returning to a peaceful state. They are the flower most often seen on a casket spray.

Rose

Roses carry color-coded meaning. Red roses say deep love (most often sent by a spouse or adult child). White roses say reverence. Pink roses say gratitude and admiration. Yellow roses say friendship and warmth. Dark crimson, almost black, says grief itself. A single rose laid on the casket by a child or grandchild is one of the most enduring gestures at a graveside.

Chrysanthemum

In American funeral tradition, the chrysanthemum is a sympathy flower. In much of East Asia and parts of Europe (especially France, Italy, Belgium, Poland), the white chrysanthemum is the funeral flower, used almost exclusively for the dead. Never bring chrysanthemums to a dinner party in France.

Carnation

Long-lasting and inexpensive, carnations are the workhorse of funeral florists. Pink carnations are associated with remembrance. White carnations symbolize pure love and innocence. Red carnations are for admiration. Carnations are especially common in Catholic and Latino funeral traditions.

Orchid, gladiolus, hydrangea, peony

Orchids signify enduring love and are common as a home sympathy gift because a potted orchid lasts months. Gladioli symbolize strength of character and are used in standing sprays at services for men. Hydrangeas (especially blue and white) speak to heartfelt sincerity. Peonies carry compassion and bashful tenderness; they are short-season and expensive, but unforgettable when they appear.

Cultural notes (this matters)

Before you order, read the obituary or ask the family. The following traditions diverge from the Western default.

Jewish funerals. Flowers are traditionally not sent. The equivalent gesture is food delivered to the shiva house. See shiva etiquette for non-Jewish guests for what to bring instead.
Muslim funerals. Flowers are not typically used. Donations to a charity or food to the family are the appropriate gestures.
Hindu and Buddhist funerals. Flowers are welcome, but white, yellow, or saffron are preferred. Avoid red. Garlands of marigold or jasmine are traditional in Hindu services.
East Asian services. White is the funeral color, not black. White chrysanthemums and white lilies are appropriate. Avoid red flowers; red is the color of celebration.

For more on the customs of each tradition, our cultural and religious customs resource has fuller detail.

Practical notes for sending

If you are sending to the funeral home, the standing spray or wreath should arrive the morning of the visitation, not the day of the funeral. If you are sending to the family's home, send in the second week. The first week the house is buried in flowers from the service. By the second week, the arrangements have wilted and the family is alone.

Local florists know the local funeral homes. See our Boston funeral planning page for local options, or browse the city directory.

Common questions

Should I send flowers or a donation?: Read the obituary. If it says in lieu of flowers, send the donation.
How much should funeral flowers cost?: Standing sprays $150 to $400. Casket sprays $250 to $600. Sympathy bouquets $50 to $100.
Are there religions where flowers are not appropriate?: Yes. Jewish, Muslim, and many East Asian traditions. For Hindu and Buddhist, white or yellow is preferred.
When should flowers arrive?: For the service, the morning of the visitation. For sympathy bouquets, the second week after.