Do I have to wear all black to a Catholic funeral?

No. Dark colors are traditional, but navy, charcoal, deep gray, and muted dark green are all appropriate. Avoid bright primaries, prints, and white.

Can I take communion if I am not Catholic?

Only Catholics in good standing receive communion. Non-Catholics are welcome to come forward with arms crossed over the chest for a blessing, or remain seated.

Should women cover their head?

Not required at most US parishes since Vatican II. A small number of traditional Latin Mass communities still expect head coverings.

All guides

What to wear to a Catholic funeral

Modest, dark, covered shoulders. A short guide to dress for a Catholic Funeral Mass, plus communion etiquette for non-Catholic guests.

You have been invited or expected at a Catholic funeral and you want to honor the family without standing out. The rules are simpler than most people fear. Modest, dark, covered shoulders. The rest is kindness. This page covers what to wear, what to bring, and the small rituals of the Mass so you are not the person staring at the program wondering when to stand.

What to wear

Dark suit or dark dress, knee-length or longer, with shoulders covered. Black is the default and the safest, but navy, charcoal, and deep gray are equally appropriate. Closed-toe shoes. For men, a dark tie and a long-sleeved shirt under a jacket. Avoid bright primaries, white (the celebrant's color at funerals), busy prints, denim, athletic wear, and anything sleeveless inside the church.

For graveside, dress for the weather. Catholic burials happen outdoors in every season. A dark wool coat or a simple raincoat over your suit is appropriate.

Communion etiquette for non-Catholics

At the eucharist, the priest will invite the congregation forward. Per the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, only baptized Catholics in a state of grace receive communion. Non-Catholic guests have two respectful options. You can remain in the pew. Or you can come forward with your arms crossed flat across your chest; the priest will give you a blessing instead of the host. Both are welcome.

Standing, sitting, and kneeling

Follow the people around you. Sit during the readings, stand for the Gospel, stand or kneel during the Eucharistic Prayer. If you are not Catholic and do not feel comfortable kneeling, sit respectfully. No one will mind. Genuflecting before entering the pew is not expected of non-Catholics.

For the full order of the Mass and what each section is, see our piece on the Catholic funeral Mass in order.

What to bring (and not)

A sympathy card with a brief, handwritten note for the family.
A small bill or check if there is a poor box at the back.
Tissues. Bring more than you think you need.
A light scarf for women, in case the parish is traditional.

Do not bring flowers to the church. They are sent ahead to the funeral home or directly to the family. Do not bring food to the church. Our piece on what to bring to a wake covers the visitation the night before.

If you are bringing children

Children are welcome at Catholic funerals. The Mass is about an hour. Bring a quiet book or a small toy if the child is under six. Sit toward the back so you can step out without crossing the front of the church. For framing how to talk to kids about the death itself, see how to tell the children.

For local Catholic parish and funeral home options, see places like our Boston funeral planning page or browse the city directory.

Common questions

Do I have to wear all black?: No. Dark colors are traditional, but navy, charcoal, and deep gray are all appropriate.
Can I take communion if I am not Catholic?: Only Catholics in good standing receive communion. Non-Catholics are welcome to come forward with arms crossed for a blessing.
Should women cover their head?: Not required at most US parishes since Vatican II.