A letter to a future grandchild

Letters from grandparents that arrive twenty years after they are written are some of the most treasured family objects there are. They sit in shoeboxes, in safes, in the back of cookbooks. They get read once at sixteen, again at twenty-five, again at forty when the reader becomes a parent themselves. The letter is a small bridge across time. This page is a guide to writing one, even if your grandchildren are not born yet, and to making sure it actually gets delivered.

Why this kind of letter matters

Most people do not have a single page of writing from their own grandparents. Photographs, yes; an inherited brooch or a watch, maybe; a written voice, almost never. The grandchildren who do have such letters describe them as anchoring in a way that photographs are not. A letter has tone. It has a writer's voice. It says, this person thought of me before I existed.

Who to address it to

If you have grandchildren, write to them by name. If you do not yet, address the letter to the grandchildren you hope to have. Common openings:

• To my grandchildren, whoever you turn out to be.
• To the first of you who reads this.
• To Lucy and Will, and to whoever joins you later.

You can write one general letter, or specific letters to each grandchild that get opened on a particular birthday (a common pattern is 13, 18, 30, and 50).

What to write about

• A scene from your own childhood. One sensory paragraph from a world your grandchildren cannot otherwise know.
• A story about your child (their parent). Who your son or daughter was at five, at twelve, at twenty.
• One belief that held. Not preaching. The single conviction that you tested against your life.
• A specific blessing. What you hope for them. Not advice. Hope.

A short example

Dear Lucy. I am writing this when you are six and your dad is teaching you how to ride a bike in the driveway. I am eighty-one. I do not know when you will read this. Probably I will be gone. I want you to know one thing about your dad before he was your dad. He was the kindest boy on the block. When the new family moved in, he was the one who knocked on their door with a paper plate of cookies your grandmother had baked, before any of the other kids would even wave. I think that is still who he is. I hope you grow up to be a little bit like him. I love you, Lucy. Be brave. Pop.

Format and length

Handwritten or typed are both fine. Handwritten carries more weight; typed is easier to read in twenty years. Length: most beloved letters of this type are 300 to 800 words.

If you want to record a short video to go with the letter, two to five minutes is plenty. Set the camera up, speak as if the grandchild is across the table, and say the same things you wrote.

How to make sure it actually arrives

• Store the letter with your will or with your advance memorial wishes.
• Tell your spouse, your adult child (the future parent), or your executor exactly where the letter is and who it is for.
• Email a digital copy to two trusted people, with the subject line "for the grandchildren, please keep."

For a fuller treatment of values letters, see our piece on the ethical will template. For broader self-prepare guidance, see local resources like our Denver funeral planning page or browse the city directory.

Common questions

What if I do not have grandchildren yet?

Write to the grandchildren you hope for.

How do I make sure they actually receive it?

Store with your will, tell your child or spouse, and be specific about when it is meant to be opened.

Should I record video or audio instead?

Both work. Many people do both.