Memorial donations in lieu of flowers

Flowers wilt. Donations last. Most families today choose to redirect at least some of what would have been spent on funeral sprays toward a cause the person they lost would have cared about. This page walks through how to ask for it, where to send it, and how to thank the people who give.

For the gentlest wording of the ask in the obituary itself, see our short guide on in lieu of flowers wording. For setting up an online tribute fund, see memorial donation page.

The phrasing in the obituary

One sentence is enough. A few formats that work:

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the American Cancer Society in [Name]'s memory.

Memorial contributions may be made to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital or the charity of the donor's choice.

[Name] loved the public library. Donations to the Friends of the Springfield Public Library would honor him.

Include the website or mailing address if the charity is small or local, so donors know where to send their gift.

Setting up a tribute fund

Most national charities (American Cancer Society, Make-A-Wish, the Alzheimer's Association, the American Heart Association, the ASPCA, and many more) offer a free memorial-tribute page on their website. You give them the deceased's name, a short tribute paragraph, and a photo if you have one. They generate a shareable link. Donors give directly; the charity tracks the total and sends acknowledgments to the family. There is no fee for the family.

For local or unaffiliated causes, services like JustGiving, GoFundMe Memorial, or the Network for Good can host a tribute page. Fees typically run 2 to 5 percent. Make sure the page is clearly memorial in nature, not a fundraiser for funeral expenses, so donors know what they are giving toward.

Ten categories families often choose

These are categories, not endorsements. The right charity is the one that maps to the life the person lived. We list national examples in each category so the family has somewhere to begin researching.

• Disease research.American Cancer Society, Alzheimer's Association, American Heart Association, Michael J. Fox Foundation (Parkinson's), Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, ALS Association.
• Hospice and palliative care. The local hospice that cared for the person, often through a memorial-fund link on their website. Also the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.
• Children's causes.St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Boys and Girls Clubs of America, Big Brothers Big Sisters.
• Religious institutions.The deceased's parish, synagogue, mosque, temple, or local congregation. Most have a memorial fund or building fund.
• Community foundations.Most cities have a community foundation that maintains named memorial funds. Look for “[Your city] community foundation.”
• Animal welfare. Local humane society, ASPCA, Best Friends Animal Society, or a specific rescue group. Especially fitting for a person who loved animals or had rescue pets.
• Education.The deceased's alma mater, a scholarship fund in their name, the local public library, or organizations like DonorsChoose and Khan Academy.
• Veterans.TAPS, Wounded Warrior Project, Fisher House Foundation, the American Legion. For a veteran, their unit's association is often the most meaningful.
• Mental health.National Alliance on Mental Illness, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Crisis Text Line. Especially appropriate after a suicide loss, where directing love toward prevention can be part of the family's healing.
• Environment and outdoors. The Nature Conservancy, Audubon Society, a local land trust, a state park association. Fitting for a hiker, gardener, or birder.

Tracking donations and thanking donors

Most national charities email or mail the family a notification each time a donation is made in the deceased's memory. Donor names are usually included; donor amounts are usually not, which is the right etiquette. Keep these notifications in a folder.

Send a short, handwritten thank-you note to each donor whose name you receive, within four to six weeks of the service. A single sentence is plenty. See template 6 on our email templates page for the wording.

Tax considerations

Donations made in memory of someone are tax-deductible for the donor if the receiving organization is a registered 501(c)(3) public charity. The donor receives the deduction, not the family. Most charities provide the donor with an automated receipt suitable for tax filing. The family does not need to report memorial donations as income; gifts directed toward a charity are not gifts to the family.

For donations sent in cash or check directly to the family for the family's use, the IRS treats those as personal gifts and they are not deductible by the donor. This is a useful thing to know if you are choosing between asking for a contribution to a charity or to a family fundraiser. Memorial funds at a charity scale tax-efficiently. Family funds do not, but they help the family directly.

For the broader practical arc of the days ahead, see the legal and practical checklist.