Legal and practical checklist

Nothing about this is fair. You are grieving, and the world wants paperwork. Below is the order most American families follow. Adjust it for your situation. Do the first-24-hours list, then let the rest wait until you are ready. None of it has to happen today.

For the broader emotional arc, see what to do after someone dies. For the people around you who want to help, point them to how to support a grieving friend.

First 24 hours

• Call the funeral home. They will collect the body, transport it, and start the death-certificate paperwork with the doctor or medical examiner. This is the legal first step.
• Notify immediate family by phone, not text. If you have far-flung relatives, the email template at our email templates page (template 1) is a starting point.
• Secure the home. Lock the doors. Take in any visible mail or packages. If there are pets, arrange short-term care.
• Notify the employer if the person was actively working. A short call to HR is enough today. Details can wait.
• Notify the place of worship, if there is one. Clergy will start arranging the service and meal trains.
• Eat something. Drink water. Sleep, if you can.

First week

• Order 10 to 15 certified copies of the death certificate from the funeral home or the county vital records office. You will need an original for each bank, insurance policy, and major asset transfer. Cost is usually $10 to $25 per copy.
• Locate the will. Check the home safe, the deceased's attorney's office, and the safe deposit box (which may require a court order to open). The original is required for probate; copies are not.
• Locate life insurance policies, retirement accounts (401(k), IRA), and annuities. Beneficiaries on these accounts inherit directly and do not go through probate.
• Contact an estate attorney if there is property, a business, or assets over your state's probate threshold. Most attorneys offer a free first consultation. Bring the will, the death certificate, a list of accounts, and a list of debts.
• Plan the service. Funeral home staff handle most logistics; your job is to choose the readings, the music, the speaker, and the meal. See funeral planning checklist and funeral program template.
• Contact Social Security at 1-800-772-1213. The funeral home often handles this notification, but verify. Surviving spouses may be eligible for a one-time $255 death benefit and ongoing survivor benefits.

First month

• Notify banks and credit unions. Joint accounts continue; single-name accounts freeze. Bring the death certificate and your ID.
• Notify credit card companies. Close single-name cards. For joint cards, the surviving holder usually continues; the bank may request a new application.
• Notify the mortgage holder. If the home was jointly owned, the surviving spouse usually continues making payments, but the loan may need to be re-titled.
• Notify auto insurance, home insurance, and umbrella policies. Premiums often adjust; the surviving spouse may save money.
• Cancel single-name subscriptions: cell phone, streaming services, gym memberships, magazines, online accounts. Keep a running list as bills arrive over the next 90 days.
• Notify the deceased's state board for any professional license: medical, legal, real estate, CPA.
• Notify the voter registration office (the funeral home usually handles this through the state vital records office, but verify in your county).
• Notify Veterans Affairs (1-800-827-1000) if the person was a veteran. Surviving spouses may be eligible for Dependency and Indemnity Compensation, burial benefits, and continued health coverage.
• Cancel the driver's license at the DMV. This prevents identity theft, which is more common than people realize in the months after a death.

First 90 days

• File the final personal income tax return for the deceased, for the year of death. The IRS extends deadlines for grieving families; write “Deceased” and the date across the top of the return. A CPA is worth the fee here.
• File an estate tax return if the estate is over the federal threshold ($13.6 million in 2024, but state thresholds are much lower in MA, OR, WA, MN, IL, MD, NY, NJ, RI, VT, HI, DC, ME, CT).
• Update beneficiaries on your own retirement accounts, life insurance, and bank accounts. If your spouse died, you are now most likely the sole beneficiary on accounts that named them. That is rarely what you want long-term.
• Update emergency contacts on your own accounts: doctor, school forms, employer's HR file, and your will.
• Update your will, even if your spouse is still living. Estate plans should be reviewed after every major loss.
• Talk to a fee-only financial advisor. The National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (napfa.org) lists fiduciary advisors who charge hourly, not commission. The first meeting is usually free.
• Close or transfer the deceased's email and social media accounts. Facebook offers a memorialization option. Google and Apple have inactive-account tools. A locked email account becomes a problem fast.

Phone numbers worth saving

• Social Security Administration: 1-800-772-1213
• Internal Revenue Service: 1-800-829-1040
• Department of Veterans Affairs: 1-800-827-1000
• Medicare: 1-800-633-4227
• Equifax fraud alert (to flag the deceased): 1-800-525-6285
• Experian fraud alert: 1-888-397-3742
• TransUnion fraud alert: 1-800-680-7289
• 988, for any moment that gets too heavy

For the grief itself, see crisis lines and grief support. For the slow long work of remembering, Stillwith helps with the eulogy, the obituary, and the memorial page.